proposed by Zsofi
The sentence above saying: ‘What I do to myself, I do to others’ has been a big part of my life since this last few months and it really made me think about something that I have noticed doing to myself very often. Since I have not much social distractions around me (specially now when I spend my days mostly alone) I constantly judge myself every day – pretty much most of the time during the day. Often the little voice in my head already starts even before I am fully awake telling me that ‘I shouldn’t have snoozed, or how lazy I am, I should’ve stretched but now I won’t have time’ etc.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Since I have consciously noticed my negative self-sabotaging or harsh thought patterns and started to be aware of how they making me feel I have decided to do something about it. From a combination of different practices, I have created an exercise, which really helps me releasing or freeing me up from these thoughts. And why is it important to care for your thoughts about yourself and to be consciously aware of how you see and feel about yourself? The best example I think is when on flights before take-off during the safety announcement you get told, that if the masks would come down in case of emergency– you need to put your own mask on first! and then help others.
What you do to yourself, you do to others.
The Exercise:
*Take around 5-15min to do this. Preferably first thing in a morning or when you have thoughts, feelings arising about yourself.
*Go to a quiet place preferably where’s a mirror and where you can’t be disturbed.
*Be alone.
*Get some post-it notes, or if you don’t have any - some papers and cellotaphs and make your own little notes.
*Take a deep breath, check in with your body. How do you feel?
*Start writing down the different unpleasant thoughts, feelings you have about yourself. Don’t think about it too much – whatever is naturally there.
*When you done it. Stick it all to yourself.
*Take a deep breath. Look at yourself in the mirror. How do you feel?
*Then choose an individual post-it thought, say it out loud.
*Take a breath here and peel it off from yourself.
*Look at that post-it thought/note what you just peeled-off from yourself. Tell it, that ‘It is not true’, or ‘You are a liar’, or to F….Off whatever comes out.
*Then destroy this post-it thought/note however you want to. (Tear it, burn it…)
*Please carry on to do this one by one until you have no post-it notes left on you.
* Look at yourself in the mirror now. How do you feel now? Do you feel any sensation in your body? Etc.
Repeat this exercise anytime when you feel like it.
If you like please share your experience here – send us a picture, a video or a voice message. Take care of yourself! info[a]mohaproject.com <3 Xxx
My experience:
Before I started to write out my judgemental thoughts, I felt sort of an uncomfort, little nervousness and had a tight squeezed feeling in my stomach. Little heaviness on my head and heart too and I started to write. After I wrote them – and stuck them all over my body – I looked in the mirror and took a moment. I was thinking – oh my goodness. Is this really what I am telling myself? Is this how I see myself?
And this means – do I judge others like that too? Maybe, sometimes…
Of course, I don’t want to judge others like that or treat them that way – so why I am doing this to myself?? I’m feeling sad and annoyed at this point.
I start to tear off and destroy the post-its one by one. This feels powerful, but not easy. I need to take deep breaths a lot. I take my time I don’t rush.
I destroyed it all.
I take a deep breath again – and breezing fully out in this moment with my eyes closed. Then I look at myself in the mirror. Feeling freer, lighter and emotional. And I remind myself: “Zsófi, you need to be gentle with yourself. Be compassionate and kind to yourself”.
Alice
I am in a good moment with myself, so at first I was wondering if I will have something to write. But of course there are always little judgments that remain. Temporary ones coming to visit. Looking at my crazy morning face in the mirror. The judgements were more fears of changes, time passing on myself. They were not overcoming. They are around but we can cohabitate not too bad.
There are always some fears and unpleasant revelations about myself. I don't want to get rid of them (as they also constitute who I am), but living as a happy person alongside them.
Ivan